


Existentialism

by sleeponrooftops



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2007-12-28
Updated: 2007-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-31 08:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/341787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleeponrooftops/pseuds/sleeponrooftops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was staring… again. His brown and blonde hair was at a perfect angle, smoothed over his acquiescent features and dipping smoothly over his shoulders. His icy blue eyes were cold as ever, but he held them with new intensity as he stared. And then he did the strangest thing. He stood up and left. No one even noticed. Until I followed...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unawake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elias looked up as Lily came waltzing toward him, looking positively exquisite. He laughed as she broke out in a beam, her hands reaching for his. Her white dressed swished this way and that, their dancing movements fluid and like one.

_Saturday_

I was lying awake, again, in bed, contemplating over what was to be done about that darned James Potter.  I was giving him a chance, yes, but he was still persisting too much.  He needed to stop lest he really wanted a death wish.  The poor boy, he had no idea what troubles he could get himself into when it came to the Ice Queen of the school.

 

‘Ice Queen?’ a voice mimics, causing me to roll my eyes and sigh heavily.

 

‘What do you want, Jamie?’ I query, rubbing my temples.

 

‘I thought you’d fallen asleep on me.  Guess I thought wrong,’ she mutters thoughtfully before a raunchy little giggle bursts through the tension.

 

‘You guys are ridiculous,’ Chelsea snorts, laughing as she rolls off the bed and falls with a resounding ‘ _thump_ ’ on the floor.

 

They are my best friends, however strange.  Jamie Winters is exactly the opposite of Chelsea Keitel.

 

‘I think you’re both losing your minds,’ Allison murmurs darkly, crossing her legs beneath her.

 

Allison Landers and I, we are the same.  Jamie has long midnight hair that falls past her waist in straight waves of positive gorgeousness.  Chelsea has straight blonde hair with obnoxious pink highlights.  Allison is plain, like myself with my wavy flaming red hair, and has kinky curls of auburn falling over her shoulders.

 

‘That’s what they call me, at any rate,’ I say, jumping back to Jamie’s original comment.

 

‘ _That’s what they call me_ ,’ she mimics again, causing me to fling myself into a sitting position and draw my knees to my chest.

 

‘Fine, you bum, new subject,’ she finally obliges, sparing me a few daggers, ‘Who’s going where for Christmas break?’

 

‘I’m going home,’ Allison replies happily, smiling a little.

 

‘As am I,’ Chelsea returns, sharing the grin.

 

‘Wow, me too!’ Jamie exclaims, throwing her arms up.

 

All three girls turn to me expectantly, but I let them down greatly, ‘I’m staying here.  I don’t feel like dealing with Petunia and her new pet.  Besides, I’ve never spent Christmas in Hogwarts.  It’s supposed to be breathtaking.’

 

‘James is staying,’ Jamie reminds.

 

I nod in response, ‘It’s no biggy.  I’m going to immerse myself in homework so he’ll know not to bother me.’

 

‘A little thing like homework never stopped James Potter, President of the Marauders,’ Chelsea reprimands.

 

‘A little thing like James Potter never stopped Lily Evans, President of the Evanescent,’ I snap, causing them all to stop the comments on the gorgeous Quidditch captain.  The Evanescent is like the equivalent of the Marauders; four boys, four girls; simple as two plus two.

 

‘I think I’m going to sleep now,’ I say, but it’s nothing of an invitation and certainly a demand.  They all grumble and complain before slipping off my bed and starting toward my door.  We all bid each other good night before I turn out the lights and drift off into a peaceful expanse of blackness…

 

_The sun was almost at its peak as the Hogwarts Express pulled into Platform 9 ¾.  Of course, the students quickly piling onto the crimson train couldn’t see the sun for they were within brick walls, out of sight of all the Muggles, but they knew the time and the sun’s rising all the same.  There were two groups that were of utmost importance amongst the chattering and shouting students.  Although many were gathered, ranging from eleven to seventeen in years, only eight currently present were to be found of the greatest fascination._

_The Marauders were, essentially, the more interesting group of four.  They consisted of four best friends: James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.  The other four, the Evanescent, were of slightly lesser vitality, but certainly still quite as amazing.  They consisted of four best friends, also: Lily Evans, Allison Landers, Jamie Winters, and Chelsea Keitel.  Nothing was quite as outstanding as these two groups, friends since first year and friends for life._

_But there was also one other.  Another, standing alone in his group all to himself, was a boy of the same age as those two groups.  He was leaning against the wall opposite the train, brown and blonde hair falling askew over his eyes and shoulders.  It is an odd do, but so fit to the boy.  While most is brown, a thin, sectioned layer parted to the right is completely blonde, the length shortening until it is only trailing slightly longer than the layered rest.  He wore a simple grey beanie and a matching grey and black striped sweater.  His tight, faded light blue jeans hugged his thin legs as he crossed them one over the other, arms in the same position over his chest, watching the students run around.  He was new; that much was obvious to the passerby.  Either that or he was one of the exceptionally stranger inhabitants of the lot._

_A burst of steam from the head compartment informed him of the train’s soon departure.  Sighing to himself, the boy picked himself up off the wall and walked casually toward the train, hands in his pockets, and with the air of one who knew of everything around him.  He saw only one as he walked, however.  She was much more beautiful in her simplicity than those who tried around her.  He passed her on his way as she was bidding her parents goodbye, and she stopped in mid-step, emerald eyes locked against his icy blue ones.  He let a smile flitter to his face before turning his gaze back to the train and continuing on.  She was interested.  She wanted to know who he was now._

I woke up the next morning feeling groggy, and surprisingly stupid.  Had I done something ridiculous last night?  A cheery smile from James reminds me not.  I return the gesture as I slip into a sweatshirt and head for the exit.

 

‘Where is the beautiful lady headed today?’ he inquires quickly before I can reach for the tunnel leading to the portrait hole.

 

‘I’m saying goodbye to my friends.  I’m staying here for the holidays.’  The beam that lightens James’ face is almost sickening.

 

I wave before disappearing into the tunnel and quickly scampering out of the portrait, not wanting to hear his flow of excited merriment.  As I turn a corner, however, I come literally nose-to-nose with the forbidden fruit of the school.  Elias Jasper is the one person every girl lusts after, but the one person no one speaks with.  He’s introverted, mysterious, and heavily effortless in almost everything he attempts.

 

‘Pardon me,’ he whispers, lifting a hand to tuck a fallen piece of red hair behind my pale ear, ‘Terribly sorry for my intrusion.’

 

‘No problem of yours.  I should watch where I’m going,’ I breathe, swallowing a lump in my throat I hadn’t known had appeared.

 

‘I’ll see you around, then, Lily.’

 

‘Elias,’ I manage, nodding as he walks away.

 

‘Elias Jasper!’ Jamie squeals ten minutes later, jumping up and down.  I knew it was a horrendous idea to tell her.

 

‘Wait, so you had a legitimate _moment_ with Elias Jasper?  _The_ Elias Jasper?  The _forbidden fruit_ of the school?’ Chelsea gasps, grasping my shoulders.  One of my hands is held tightly within Jamie's fingers, she bouncing up and down as I nod.  I knew “forbidden fruit” was the correct term; the term they all used, the girls in love with him.

 

‘This is absolutely colossal!’ Chelsea continues, doing a little dance, ‘Elias Jasper!’

 

‘Alright, guys, let’s not have a panic attack over this.’

 

‘Lily, darling, this is incredible.  He _touched_ your _hair_.  Holy shit!’  I cock an eyebrow as my eyes widen the minimalist amount.  Chelsea never swears unless the situation seriously calls for such obscenities.

 

‘Look, I have to get back to my studying, and the carriages are going to leave without you.  Remember to write.’  They leave me with tight hugs, kisses on the cheek, and promises I know only few will keep.  I watch them depart, waving, knowing I’m going to miss my family, but knowing at the same time that I’ll thoroughly enjoy myself within the walls of my home.

 

As the carriages finally disappear, I take a deep breath and slowly walk down the stairs leading to the grassy land surrounding the lake.  I draw my cloak in tighter around me, the cold biting sharply against my exposed skin.  I stare out at the lake, sighing against its beauty.  The dull sun’s rays bounce off its smooth surface brilliantly, casting sparkles all around the freshly fallen snow.  Even the Whomping Willow in the distance remains still, snow covering its branches.

 

‘It’s quite chilly out,’ a soft voice says from my shoulder.  I don’t even have to look up to know who it is.

 

‘It’s always chilly outside during the winter, James.’

 

‘I’m not sure if I was supposed to catch the sarcasm in that.’

 

‘There was no sarcasm.’

 

‘Oh.’

 

‘Wanna go back inside?  Now my bones are starting to feel it,’ he whispers after a while of comfortable silence.

 

‘You go ahead.  I like it out here.  Actually, I think I’ll take a walk.’

 

‘If you say so.’  James leaves me then, leaves me to cherish the silence and exquisiteness all around me…

 

_Lily searched for hours with her eyes.  Occasionally, she’d abuse her position and open compartment doors to “make sure everything was alright”.  She never found him.  Why was she looking for him anyway?  Was there really so much of one person to drive another person mad enough to wander endlessly to find his existence?_

_‘Lily?’  She became hopeful and spun around, but only to be disappointed at the sight of James Potter._

_‘Yes, James?’_

_‘I was just wondering exactly what you were doing.  We do have to get back to the Heads’ compartment at some point.’  He sounded irritated.  Good.  Maybe he’d finally leave poor Lily alone, alone to… wallow in her misery?_

_‘This is ridiculous,’ she muttered to herself, but James heard her anyway._

_‘Pardon?  What’s ridiculous?’_

_‘Oh, not you.  I was just thinking of something.  Anyway, thank you for the reminder.  Shall we?’_

_She let James lead the way, but she still found herself looking over her shoulder and into the windows of compartments._

_‘So I heard there’s a new student,’ James interrupted her stream of thoughts, seeming genuinely interested._

_‘Really?  I haven’t heard that rumor yet.’_

_‘Yeah.  Supposedly, he’s from Durmstrang and decided to transfer.  Not to be stereotypical or anything, but that must mean he’s quite whacked in the head.’_

_“The Durmstrang students were to be described as silent, flowing, and mysterious creatures.  They are said to move with great grace, possess unheard of abilities, and were able to capture attention with a single, shall say, flick of the wrist.”_

_Lily remembered the entry from one of the millions of books she’d read perfectly.  She gasped, and James turned as a light bulb clicked on in her head._

I found myself much, much later sitting in the stands of the Quidditch Pitch, at the highest point, staring aimlessly out at the sky and treetops.

 

‘It’s fascinating, isn’t it?’ Elias questions from beside me, shrugging his cloak around him a little more.  He joined me some time back, and although he begged to not intrude, I quickly, almost desperately so, asked him to stay.  I wish I could see James’ face now.

 

‘Absolutely breathtaking,’ I breathe, letting out a long breath.

 

‘You know, Lily, I find you almost as interesting.’

 

‘Almost?’ I mock, turning my eyes upon him.  He smiles brilliantly, shaking his head to disperse of the new flakes gathered there.

 

‘You’ve yet to really see the world yonder.  It’s incredible.  Not much beats it, but you come close.’

 

‘I’m not sure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult,’ I remark, standing up as he does.

 

‘I’d say a compliment.  It’s cold; would you like to go inside?’

 

‘Gladly.  It must be nearly noon.  I’m famished.’

 

‘I like the way you speak,’ he says after we’ve reached the soft snow on the ground once again.

 

‘And why is that?’

 

‘You’re not afraid to say things properly, brutally, and you’re not afraid to speak your mind.  It shows strong personality and a sense of perseverance and dignity.’

 

‘Why, thank you.’

 

‘The pleasure is mine.’

 

It is only as the stairs come in sight that he speaks again, ‘Lily, you’re shivering.’

 

‘Am I?  I hadn’t noticed,’ I whisper, giggling instantly as my teeth chatter, ‘I guess I am.  No, don’t you dare give me your cloak.’

 

‘I was actually going to suggest you and me trade,’ he informs as he rolls his black cloak off his shoulders.

 

‘What good would that do?’

 

‘Just watch.’  With a smile, he hands me his cloak.  Sighing, I take off my own and give it to him.  Once inside his, I feel immediately warm.

 

‘That’s fantastic,’ I murmur, pulling it tighter around me.

 

‘Told you,’ he returns, smirking.

 

We arrive to a pretty display within the Great Hall: twelve extravagant pine trees are set along the walls while one particularly large one sits at the doorway.  Each is bland, and I can only imagine the festivities that must ensue to decorate them.  Snow falls from the ceiling while garland, silver, red, and green alike, hang around the walls and from the torches.

 

‘Lily, what is your favorite color?’ Elias suddenly asks as we sit down, across from each other, with our plates.

 

I shrug and poke at my food as I think, muddling over the different colors available for picking in my mind.

 

‘Blue,’ I finally come up with, satisfied to a certain extent.

 

‘Makes sense enough.  You like to match, and blue matches perfectly with your eyes and hair.’

 

‘Oh?’  I am caught slightly off guard by his observant behavior, but he merely grins and puts a hand to the bench.

 

‘I know you’ll never forgive me, because you’re not one who enjoys public affection, but blue is just such an extraordinary color on a lily.’  He lifts his hand again to reveal a blue lily dangling from his fingertips.

 

‘How did you do that?’ I query as I slowly take the flower from him and gaze at it.

 

‘Magic,’ he whispers, causing me to smile slightly.

 

‘Thank you,’ I return, letting the flower rest beside my drink before starting to eat.  He puts forth a similar smile, only wider and happier.

 

Lunch is quite uneventful.  He asks me questions of all sorts, claiming to want to get to know me.  Of course, I get my fair share of inquiries in as well.  By the time we have finished, it seems there is nothing we do not know of each other.  That is, typically, with the exception of our more dark secrets, forbidden by fear to tell.

 

‘This is where we part,’ Elias murmurs, his cloak draped over his arm as he glances up at the marble staircase.

 

‘Unless you’d rather depart for the Heads’ common room with me,’ I suggest, the words flying from my mouth before I can stop them.

 

‘That would be lovely,’ he says, smiling and holding out his arm.  Instinctively, I loop mine through his and allow him to lead me away…

 

_As the pair reached the Heads’ compartment, Lily shook her head at her stupidity and was just about to close the door when she noticed a set of familiar blue eyes staring at her.  She returned the stare with her breath caught in her throat and her heart seeming to have ceased beating._

_‘Evans!’ a sharp voice from behind her reminded her that she was in the presence of others._

_Begrudgingly, she turned her eyes away from the beautiful stranger and back to the Prefects sitting around her.  Back to work, as it always was…_

‘So why the sudden interest in me?’ I ask as we sit on the crimson couch, lounging in front of the fire with mugs warm with hot chocolate in our hands.

 

‘Why the sudden interest in dear Lily Evans?’ he repeats, setting down his black mug.

 

‘You heard me the first time.’

 

‘I like that.  You take charge.  You stand up for yourself.  You demand what you ask for.’

 

‘And you never answer questions right away.’

 

Elias laughed then, and I swear I nearly had a heart attack.  It is like jingle bells, or the beginning of a waterfall.  It’s breathtaking.

 

‘You don’t come across many redheads where I used to live,’ he finally whispers, reaching forward and running his delicately long fingers through my hair.

 

‘You also don’t see a heroine much often either,’ he continues, letting the pads of his fingers skim to a halt on my cheek.

 

‘You don’t find a woman with a talent buried so deep that it seems suddenly unreachable anymore,’ he finishes, smiling mysteriously and retrieving his hand as the portrait hole opens.  Rough, unintelligible voices drift down through the tunnel and I sigh, rolling my eyes.

 

‘I don’t have a hidden talent,’ I mutter, standing up and heading toward the log crate.

 

‘What do you do then?  There must be something you are extra special at.’

 

‘I highly doubt that.’

 

‘Now, that is the understatement of the year.’

 

‘Green alert!’ Sirius suddenly yells, jumping down the last step.

 

‘He’s safe, Sirius,’ I murmur as I toss a log in the fire and it sparks instantaneously.

 

‘Ooh, Prongs, you got competition!’  He skips off toward the table giggling madly, causing Elias to raise an eyebrow at him.

 

‘Don’t mind the boys.  They may be loud, but they’re not obnoxious.’

 

‘Prongs?’  He completely ignores all other attempts to move away from said James, and instead dives headfirst into the subject.

 

‘James Potter.  According to him and the rest of the school, we are a match made in heaven.’  As soon as I said it, I wished I hadn’t.  Elias takes on a cold front for a moment as he glances at James before he turns it back to me and his façade softens significantly.

 

‘You don’t have writer’s wrists,’ he begins again, moving back to our former topic, ‘You don’t have musician’s hands.  You don’t have fighter’s arms.  What do you do, Lily Evans?’

 

‘I’ve already told you.  Nothing special,’ I persist, although I can feel my stomach turning over.

 

‘I must leave anyway.  It’s late.  I don’t want to be caught out of bed,’ he says, sighing and stretching his long limbs briefly.

 

‘I hadn’t realized we’d been here so long.  Wow, dinner and everything, and without a thought.’

 

‘I know what you mean.  I completely forgot the time.  Well, Miss Evans, I think I have you figured out.’  He rises from his seat only to take the one opposite me, the space between us suddenly gone.

 

‘You have singer’s fingers,’ he whispers, his lips by my ear before he moves backward, kisses me softly on the cheek, and then stands to leave.

 

‘I’ll see you tomorrow, then,’ he says, a small sign of a smile upon his thin lips, before he nods and heads toward the stairs.

 

‘Elias, wait!’ I gasp, stumbling up and after him.  He pauses at the rack, his hand on his cloak.

 

He raises his eyebrows in question, they disappearing beneath his multi-colored hair, so I continue, ‘And you have musician’s hands, don’t you?’

 

‘Until the morn.’  He bows his head, gathers his cloak, and is out of the door faster than I can blink.  I fall back off the bottom step, my hand over my cheek, and my heart beating much too slow.

 

‘Lily?’ James questions from the table, sounding so far away.

 

‘I’m retiring early,’ I barely manage to whisper before I disappear up my stairs and into my room…


	2. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The spinning and dipping continued, whispers and soft laughter shared between the jovial couple. Nothing was more thrilling than this day for them. This day, they were finally one forever, past death and all troubles. And they couldn't be happier.

_Sunday_

The next morning was like the pleasantest of dreams.  I awake to the sun shining brilliantly through my parted curtains, different strips of it falling in various parts around the room.  A low humming outside the window reminds me it is still yet morning, alongside the rumbling in my stomach, of course.  As I sit up and stretch, I notice a new addition to my quite plain room.  Sitting next to my blue lily in its crystal vase is a blue rose.  My breath escapes me until I realize that it must be James.  Somehow, someway, he found out about the lily and immediately put stolen ideas to action.

 

Sighing to myself and shaking my head against any thoughts of _him_ , I slowly slip out of bed, out from underneath my silk sheets, and pad over to my closet, yawning slightly.  Today feels much like a skirt day, so I step into my closet and begin my search of a comfortable outfit.

 

Ultimately, I end up wearing a white skirt with blue, pink, orange, and black lines crisscrossing every which way.  It opens at my knees and flares out in the back, ending in many layered tears.  The top is a simple black half-shirt with a slanted top, and scrunched long sleeves.  A sparkling silver star resides in the corner surrounded by miniature ones.  I would have worn jeans, but yesterday’s outfit consisted of jeans and a purple tank with a white polka-dotted half shirt over it, so I voted for a skirt today.

Once dressed, I bounce down the steps, my former attitude toward the flower coming to mind as I see James conversing with Sirius on the sofa.  I am about to confront him when I catch Elias’ name, so I pause on the bottom step, my hand on the banister.

 

‘I don’t like that Jasper kid at all,’ James mutters resentfully.

 

‘Why?  Cos he’s making a move on Evans?’

 

‘He should know better.’

 

‘Prongs, dude, he _just_ transferred here.  I doubt he knows your rules yet.’

 

‘It’s already December.  He should know by now.’

 

‘What if Evans doesn’t even want to date you, man?’

 

‘She just doesn’t know it yet.’

 

‘Whatever.  I’m starved.  Let’s go.’

 

‘Hello, boys!’ I exclaim cheerily as I jump down the last step, trying to make it seem like I’ve just walked in on them.

 

‘Oh, hello, Lily,’ Sirius returns, nodding in my direction.  James positively beams over at me before following Sirius up the stairs.  I head off with them, making sure to grab my cloak on the way.

 

‘Why do you need that?  It’s not cold in the Great Hall,’ James comments as the three of us walk alongside each other.

 

‘Because-’ I start but am almost instantaneously cut off.

 

‘Because I’m stealing her away,’ Elias suddenly says as he appears at my elbow, grinning down at me.

 

‘That’s why,’ I explain, returning the smile and rolling my eyes as he hooks an arm around my waist.

 

‘Well, it’s not cold in the school,’ James tries again, glaring daggers at Elias.

 

‘It’s cold outside, though,’ Elias continues merrily, seeming unperturbed by James’ bad behavior.

 

‘Oh.’  He looks put out, which I’m thoroughly glad for, but also feel a tad awful for at the same time.

 

Upon arriving in the Great Hall, Dumbledore neatly jumps out of his chair and hurries over to us, looking quite excited.

 

‘I was hoping I might catch you before you went off to eat,’ he murmurs, clapping his hands together as we stop as a group, looking up at him expectantly.

 

‘Soon,’ he continues, ‘we are going to be decorating the trees.  It would be just darling if you four could help the staff and me with the process.  We have a few other students in on it, but not many, so we need the extra hands.’

 

‘Of course, professor,’ I answer, Elias nodding in unison.  Both James and Sirius slap hands and start laughing, going off in a rant with Dumbledore, talking about everything that can be done.  Elias just shakes his head and pulls me away from the excited three.

 

‘So, I noticed something new in my room this fine morning,’ I comment as I spear a piece of egg and lift it to my mouth.

 

‘Did you now?’

 

Sirius and James sit down on my right, Elias being across from me, and exchange smiles with each other and myself before diving into a mischief-filled conversation.

 

‘I found a lovely little rose in my vase that was certainly not there when I bed last night.  A blue one, too,’ I continue, smiling up at Elias as he puts on a convincingly shocked face.

 

‘I can’t imagine who would have the nerve to sneak into your bedroom, let alone leave you flowers.’

 

‘Fine.  Have it your way.’  He just grins mysteriously in response before lifting his goblet full of orange juice to take a sip.

 

‘So, boys, where is my dear Remus this week?’ I ask as I turn toward the chattering boys.

 

‘Huh?’ they both respond in unison.

 

‘Remus?  Where is he?’ I repeat, rolling my eyes at their dumbstruck expressions.

 

‘Charming Moony is back home with his family.  As is our lovely Wormtail.  Both of them decided to ditch us.’

 

‘And you aren’t home because…’ I trail off, leaving the question open-ended.

 

‘Well, my flower, if you _must_ know,’ Sirius begins, causing me to grin.  He’s one of the few people who can actually get away with that.  The situation probably being that I respect him for the respect he shows me, and for the dignity he has to not do anything incredibly absurd in front of me.

 

‘I hate my family, so what’s the point of spending a holiday with them?  I’m sorry if you find a gloomy Christmas enjoyable, but I’d much rather be at Hogwarts, dear,’ he finishes, winking in my direction.  James rolls his eyes before digging his elbow into Sirius’ side and causing him to splutter unnecessarily.

 

‘Parents are gone for the vacation, so I’ve been stuck here,’ he offers, shrugging, ‘Why are you here?’

 

‘I didn’t want to return home.  Mostly the same reason as you, Sirius, but I just don’t like my sister and her fiancé.’

 

‘That’s rough,’ he mutters, giving me a sympathetic nod.

 

‘Oh, shut that hole in your face,’ I return, flicking a bit of orange juice at him.

 

‘EW!’ he screeches, covering his eyes and squealing.  The other three of us burst out laughing, James ending in wiping his eyes and I ending in looking back over at Elias.

 

‘Why are _you_ here for Christmas?’ I persist, holding the gaze.

 

‘Nothing particular.  I always stayed at Durmstrang, and I wanted to see what it was like at Hogwarts.’

 

‘So, you really are from Durmstrang?’ James butts in.

 

‘Yes,’ Elias replies shortly, breaking to glance at James.

 

‘I think we should have a snowball fight,’ Sirius suddenly pipes up, bouncing in his seat.

 

‘That would be fun, but…’

 

‘We’ll catch up later,’ Elias assures, reading my thoughts easily.

 

‘Oh, you’re invited if you want,’ James says, although I can hear the strain in his voice.

 

‘No, it’s quite alright.  I’ve got something I need to do, anyhow.  Well, best be off.  Lovely chatting with you, Lily.  My best wishes to your secret admirer.’  I just sigh and roll my eyes as he stands up, grinning.  He leaves me with a wink before Sirius lets out an obnoxious noise.

 

‘I’m done.  Let’s go.’

 

‘Oh, all hail the King,’ I say, mock bowing.

 

‘Finally!’  Sirius dances off, leaving James and I to head after him together…

 

_As Lily gathered her things for the first day of class, she could hear James laughing with Sirius, Remus, and Peter downstairs.  They all sounded so jovial, and not at all stressed like Lily was.  After heaving her bag on her shoulder, she quickly departed from the room, scurried up the main staircase, and out of the Heads’ house, ignoring all the pleasantries shouted from behind her._

_She was just hurrying down toward the dungeons when her robe jammed beneath her foot and she tripped, falling straight downward.  At the last second, someone dropped below her, caught her in his arms, and held her steady as the oxygen flew right out of her lungs and she was left gasping for breath._

_‘Are you okay?’ a soft voice asked, lifting her chin to meet his eyes as she regained her breath and tried to slow it to a normal pace._

_‘You just saved me a trip to the Hospital Wing,’ she whispered, not able to think of anything else intelligible._

_‘I’m glad I could be of service.  Try to go a little slower, though.  I hope to see you again, Lily.’  And then, as he was walking back up the stairs, Lily lost her breath again.  Those were the blue eyes that had been haunting her dreams ever since the encounter on the train.  The new student was suddenly that much more mysterious._

As we finally called it quits in our game, James and Sirius fell backward in the snow, laughing hysterically.  I watch them with amusement, although my mind keeps straying back to _him_.

 

‘Speak of the devil,’ I gasp as I feel a pair of arms slide around my waist.

 

‘Thinking of me, then?’ Elias whispers, causing shivers to run down my spine.

 

‘That’s up for debate,’ I murmur, leaning back in him and sighing.

 

‘You know, for someone who doesn’t enjoy public affection, you sure do allow a lot of it.’

 

I ignore the question, not entirely sure why I am allowing so much of it lately.

 

‘So, Lily,’ he continues after a few moments of silence, watching while the boys wrestle, ‘shall we depart, yet?’

 

‘I think that sounds like a splendid idea.’

 

Slowly, Elias and I make our way around the fighting boys and head toward the lake, our mission being to walk the circumference of it.  Only once we are halfway across the lake, directly across from Hogwarts, does Elias remove his arm from my waist and stop, forcing me to pivot and face him.

 

‘Yes?’ I question, my eyebrows jumping upward.

 

‘I think you should sing for me.’

 

‘Excuse me?’ I splutter, my stomach dropping.

 

‘Your hands tell all,’ he explains, reaching forward and lifting one of my hands in his, ‘You’ve held a brush in front of your mirror hundreds of times.  Sometimes, when no one is around, you’ve even held a microphone and shook your surroundings.  I want to hear that voice.’

 

‘I don’t sing in front of people.’  I am about to walk away only to realize that Elias hasn’t let go of my hand yet.

 

‘Playground school bell rings again,’ he sings softly, causing me to freeze in mid-stamp.

 

He pauses and, as I turn around, I feel all the blood draining from my face.  I stop halfway to him, my peripheral vision noticing how anxious he looks.

 

‘Rain clouds come to play again,’ I practically whisper.

 

‘Go on,’ he urges, squeezing my hand.

 

‘Has no one told you she’s not breathing?’  My voice gains some momentum, but my limbs are shaking and my heart is racing too fast.  I swear it should jump out of my chest and dive headfirst into the icy water of the lake.

 

‘Hello,’ Elias murmurs from beside me.

 

‘I am your mind giving you someone to talk to.’

 

‘Hello.’

 

I swallow a lump in my throat, take a deep breath, and slowly let my voice rise in volume as I sing the next bit, ‘If I smile and don’t believe, soon I know I’ll wake from this dream.’

 

Elias beams from beside me, giving my hand an extra squeeze.  Another shaky breath, and then, ‘Don’t try to fix me, I’m not broken.’

 

‘Hello.’  I can hear the joy ringing clearly in Elias’ tone as the volume continues to lift, almost to the point where James and Sirius might hear a soft murmur from across the lake.

 

‘I am the lie living for you so you can hide.’

 

‘Don’t cry.’

 

I take one last, long breath, close my eyes, and throw caution to the wind, ‘Suddenly I know I’m not sleeping!’

 

‘Hello!’

 

‘I’m still here!  All that’s left of yesterday!’

 

‘Lily!’ Elias shrieks, turning me and hugging me tightly, ‘Oh, I knew you could do it!’

 

‘I can’t believe you just made me do that,’ I whisper as we part, I trying to rearrange my befuddled state.

 

‘How good does it feel?’

 

‘We’ve confirmed that you’re a musician, right?’

 

‘And a composer, of sorts,’ he replies, grinning from ear to ear, ‘C’mon; I know the perfect place…’

 

_Lily hurriedly sat in the last empty seat in Transfiguration just as the door behind McGonagall was snapping shut tightly._

_‘Miss Evans,’ a voice suddenly said from beside her._

_She nearly jumped out of her seat, causing the owner to laugh softly._

_‘I don’t think we’ve had a proper introduction yet,’ he continued, offering his hand, ‘My name is Elias Jasper.’_

_‘Lily Evans,’ she returned breathlessly._

‘The Room of Requirements?’ I query as Elias leads me by the hand through a solid black door.

 

‘Yes.  Your friends, the Marauders, know all about it.’

 

‘Oh, I know about it.  I just don’t see… how… this… woah.’

 

‘Exactly,’ Elias explains at my appalled appearance.

 

The room before me is certainly nothing I had ever expected.  Hundreds upon hundreds of white, red, pink, and blue candles are shining, stacked upon marble risers pushed neatly against the walls.  The crimson carpet is littered with silk red, pink, and white rose petals while a white couch lies opposite where we are standing, its matching crimson pillows looking all too inviting.

 

‘This is incredible,’ I gasp, soaking it all in.

 

‘Magical, isn’t it?’

 

‘Absolutely magnificent,’ I breathe as a sudden movement announces the notice of two parts of the floor opening.  Out of one space rises a beautiful blue acoustic guitar, and out of the other rises a black stand accompanied by a slim black microphone fitted to its holding.

 

‘You’re going to sing.  You’re going to sing in front of millions of people someday,’ Elias whispers, pressing his cool, thin lips to the side of my neck before walking away from me.

 

He bends down at the guitar, picks up a piece of white chalk, and then falls to his knees noiselessly, brushing away some of the petals once he is settled.  I come to stand next to him, reading as he writes.  He strikes a smooth white line, puts the chalk back down beside it, and takes the hand I offer him.

 

‘You’re also going to sing right now.  Ready?’

 

‘I’m not sure.’

 

‘Come now, Lily.  You sang in front of me already.  You can do this.’

 

‘But there’s a microphone now.  It’s frightening now.’

 

‘Pretend I’m not here.’

 

Elias leads me to the stand and watches with a smile as I reach up and wrap my fingers delicately around the mic.  He loosens my cloak from behind me until it falls off and into his hands, tosses it aside with his, and then waits.

 

‘Playground school bell rings again,’ I start softly, wincing as my voice booms out, but surprisingly doesn’t bounce off the walls.

 

‘Don’t mind me,’ Elias whispers in my ear right before I sing the second line,

 

‘Rain clouds come to play again.’

 

‘Has no one told you she’s not breathing?’ I almost jump as Elias puts a hand to the small of my back, and the other to my stomach.

 

‘Hello,’ he sings, making me stand straight.

 

‘I am your mind giving you someone to talk to,’ I let flow as he keeps his hand at my front, on my waist, but moves the other to my shoulder blades and straightens me further.

 

‘Hello,’ he continues.

 

‘If I smile and don’t believe, soon I know I’ll wake from this dream.’

 

He squares my shoulders, pushes against my waist and between my shoulder blades again to keep me straight, and then puts one hand on my throat, barely resting against it.

 

‘Don’t try to fix me, I’m not broken.’

 

Somehow, some way, I sing beautifully against his hand, even though I had thought it would come out rough with such blockage.

 

‘Hello,’ he whispers, his voice carrying to the mic.

 

‘I am the lie living for you so you can hide.’

 

‘Don’t cry.’

 

Elias steps back as I reach the ending, ‘Suddenly I know I’m not sleeping!’

 

‘Hello!’

 

‘I’m still here!  All that’s left of yesterday!’

 

‘I’m impressed,’ he comments as my voice fades into nothingness, ‘You actually kept form when I released you.’

 

‘Why do singers normally move a lot, then?’ I inquire as he walks around to my front and takes a seat on the sofa.

 

‘All _vocalists_ ,’ he emphasizes, causing me to nod, ‘start out the same.  They need to gain form in order to be able to sing while moving.  It’s even more difficult when you add music.  I was slightly surprised by the lake that you let me sing some parts.’

 

‘You have a nice voice,’ I murmur, forgetting I’m by the microphone and the words resound nevertheless.

 

‘Yours is indescribable.’

 

‘Thank you.’

 

‘Do it again.’

 

‘Pardon?’

 

‘Do it again.  The whole thing.  Without me.  Sitting right here.’

 

‘Okay.’

 

I take a deep breath, let it out, and begin…

 

_As Transfiguration finally ended, Lily quickly gathered up her books, already hearing Jamie calling her name._

_‘She’s an Animagus, isn’t she?’ Elias questioned from beside her._

_‘How did you know already?’_

_She paused in her packing, curious._

_‘Lucky guess.  A cat, I’m assuming?’_

_‘Lucky, indeed.’_

_Lily watched, transfixed, as Elias smiled, scooped up his things, and disappeared from the room gracefully._

‘Alright, so the Room of Requirements allows for anything to randomly appear at any given moment that it’s wanted?’ I question, putting on a disbelieving face as Elias laughs his charming laugh and throws his head back.

 

I merely shoot him a glare before stabbing a piece of lettuce and a cucumber.  We’re still in the Room, but, upon Elias’ wish, a table and chairs completed with candles, food, and drinks mystically appeared for us to eat lunch instead of departing for the Great Hall.

 

‘Well, the food comes from the kitchen, but other than that, yes,’ he responds before taking a sip of his wine.

 

‘Fantastic,’ I murmur, letting my eyes sweep over the place again.

 

‘So, I wonder how you sing when intoxicated,’ he notions, gesturing toward my near empty glass.

 

‘I’m not intoxicated.  I don’t get drunk, or even tipsy, while the matter stands.  I just like my occasional glass of fine wine.’

 

Elias laughs again, causing me to click my tongue and roll my eyes.

 

‘Do you really get such enjoyment out of teasing me?’

 

‘Somewhat,’ he admits.

 

‘Alright, this song of yours,’ he suddenly pipes up after a few minutes, ‘what is it called?’

 

‘I beg your pardon?  A name?  I have no name for it, yet.’

 

‘Well, that won’t do.  What part of it seems significant?’

 

‘You’re a genius!’

 

Elias stares at my strangely, so I quickly explain, ‘It’s called _“Hello”_.’

 

‘Perfect,’ he says, smiling and lifting his glass.

 

We clink them together softly and take a sip before he starts up again, ‘I assume you’ve never written music for it.’

 

‘I can play piano somewhat.  Oh, heavens!’

 

My hand jumps to my heart as the floor opens abruptly and a gorgeous black piano rises out of it.

 

‘You nearly gave me a heart attack,’ I breathe, letting my eyes flutter shut.

 

‘Music and all,’ he says, ignoring my comment and instead waving a hand at the piano.

 

Intrigued, I stand, letting my napkin rest on the table as I do, and slowly walk over to the piano.  Upon sitting at it and lifting the cover, I notice my music tucked neatly over the keys.

 

‘Now, the question is, do you trust me to play it?’

 

‘Of course.’

 

I rise from the bench, offer him the piano, and walk back over to my mic to drag it over to the piano.  Elias starts off with the beginning of the song, his fingers flying flawlessly across the keys.

 

As I begin, another microphone attached to the piano appears out of thin air, placed right near his mouth, ‘Playground school bell rings again.  Rain clouds come to play again.  Has no one told you she’s not breathing?’

 

‘Hello.’

 

I am slightly taken aback by the loveliness of his voice as it’s thrown everywhere around the room, but I quickly get over my momentary shock and continue, ‘I am your mind giving you someone to talk to.’

 

‘Hello.’

 

‘If I smile and don’t believe, soon I know I’ll wake from this dream.  Don’t try to fix me, I’m not broken.’

 

‘Hello.’

 

‘I am the lie living for you so you can hide.’

 

‘Don’t cry.’

 

‘Suddenly I know I’m not sleeping!’

 

‘Hello!’

 

‘I’m still here!  All that’s left of yesterday!’

 

‘Do you write your own songs?’ he asks after hours more of practice as we’re gathering our cloaks and heading toward the door.

 

‘Yes.  I don’t like singing other people’s songs.  It just doesn’t seem right.’

 

‘No, it wouldn’t seem that way.’

 

We walk in silence for a while, Elias’ hands gone within the folds of his cloak and my one closest to him dangling by my side in hope.

 

‘Elias,’ I finally blurt, stopping abruptly.

 

‘Yes?’

 

He doesn’t face me immediately.  No, not until I rest a hand on his arm and he looks at me out of courtesy.

 

‘You don’t think I am for James, do you?’

 

‘Not in either prospect, but a small part of me doubts otherwise.’

 

‘Don’t let it doubt.  I would never have James.  He is merely an acquaintance.  I don’t even truly consider him a friend.  Not after all he’s done.  I’m giving him a chance, is all.  Please forgive me.’

 

‘For what?  For my insecurity?  You’ve done nothing wrong.  Come now, Lily, it’s time for us to depart.  Thank you for a smashing day.’

 

He lifts a hand to my cheek, tracing the backs of his fingers along my skin before resting his palm against the side of my face.

 

‘Until the morn,’ he whispers before placing a kiss on my forehead, smiling down at me, and then heading off up the winding marble staircase, leaving me to gasp for breath.


	3. Sparkles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first dance finally ended, Lily laughing out loud as Elias wrapped his arms around her and drew her to him tightly. 'I love you,' he gasped in her ear, nuzzling her neck.

_Monday_

I awoke the next morning to a lovely blue daisy and a piece of worn parchment scribbled on in fancy handwriting.

 

Meet me in the Great Hall for breakfast at seven.  I’ll be waiting.

 

I smile warmly at the note, feeling my heart soar as I glance at my digital clock and realize it’s ten before.  I quickly scramble out of bed, stumble over to my closet, and rummage around until I find a decent pair of light blue, viciously ripped jeans and a pink, long-sleeved top with flower designs covering the left side.  After tugging on a pair of beaten Converse, I jog out of my room, down the stairs, and into the bathroom without even greeting James and Sirius.

 

As I tug a brush through my hair, I brush my teeth with the other hand, humming to myself the whole time.  Finally, I spit one last time, rinse with mouthwash and then water, throw my hair up in a messy bun with pieces hanging out all around, and hurriedly put it all away before exiting the bathroom singing under my breath.

 

‘Hey, Lily,’ James says, causing me to stop at the steps.

 

‘Oh, hello, boys.  Nice to see you.’

 

‘You look happy about something,’ Sirius comments, grinning.

 

‘No reason.’

 

‘We’ll walk you to breakfast,’ James offers, standing up before I can object.

 

I shrug, not caring, but also not wanting to be late.  With a hunch, I grab my cloak and scamper through the tunnel and out the portrait hole, oblivious to James and Sirius’ comments about me.  We are just rounding the corner, the Great Hall coming in sight, when James cusses under his breath.

 

‘I’ll catch up with you later, boys,’ I say before jogging over to Elias and allowing him to hug me to him tightly.

 

‘It’s good to see you,’ he greets as we part.

 

‘Likewise.’

 

A few minutes later, as we sit down opposite one another, I voice a curious question of mine, ‘How do you get in my room every day?’

 

‘Magic,’ he replies simply.

 

‘Well, thank you for the daisy.’

 

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

 

He sends me a wink before his gaze travels to my cloak.

 

‘I knew you were smart,’ he comments, nodding in the direction of the black lump.

 

‘Why’s that?’ I inquire before digging into my meal.

 

‘I was planning on whisking you off outside to the Pitch.’

 

‘Why exactly?’

 

‘You ask why a lot.’

 

‘And you _never_ answer questions.’

 

‘Good point.’

 

There are a few moments of complete silence before I feel ready to explode, ‘Well?’

 

‘Well what?’

 

‘You’re relentless!’

 

‘That’s my job.’

 

‘Sirius, we’re going to the Pitch today,’ I suddenly hear James whisper a few seats down.

 

‘Why?’

 

‘Lily’s going to be there with _Jasper_.’  He practically spits the name.

 

\--

 

As we arrived at the Pitch, I felt a little nervous about what was to ensue.  I could only assume James and Sirius would be out here in no time on their broomsticks, making one hell of a ruckus.

 

‘I want to hear a new song today,’ Elias says as he walks across the snow, hands in his pockets.  I am alongside him, slightly chilly, but not terribly so.

 

‘And what makes you think you’re going to get one?’

 

‘Because you want to sing.’

 

‘What has that got to do with being here?’

 

‘You’re going to make your voice,’ he says, stopping in mid-step, pivoting, and pointing to the side of the Pitch, we currently being in the middle, ‘heard from here to there.’

 

‘Am I?’

 

‘I’m going to be one side.  You’re going to be on the other.’

 

‘What if someone comes outside?’

 

‘Then we can add it to your count.  Think you can do it?’

 

‘I’ll try.’

 

‘That’s all that matters.’

 

Elias leaves me then, walking briskly toward one of the sides.  Heaving a sigh, I walk to the other.  Once there, he waves to me, so I return the gesture before taking a deeper breath than usual and starting.  I immediately stop, gather my form, take another breath, and then begin,

 

‘You don’t remember me, but I remember you.  I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you.’

 

‘I can’t hear you!’ Elias screams from the other side.

 

‘But who can decide what they dream?  And dream I do!’ I sing louder, trying not to let my voice break.

 

‘Louder!’

 

‘I believe in you!  I’ll give up everything just to find you!  I have to be with you!’  I take in a large gulp of air to let him yell.

 

‘Louder!’

 

‘To live!  To breathe!  You’re taking over me!’

 

‘If I can scream louder than you then you aren’t loud enough!’

 

‘Have you forgotten all I know?  And all we had?’

 

‘Stay in tune!’

 

‘You saw me mourning my love for you!  And touched my hand!’  I adjust halfway through, fixing my volume so that’s it louder, but a nice sound.

 

‘Don’t sound raunchy!’

 

‘I knew you loved me then!’  I get rid of the gravelly sound of staying in tune on _you_ before belting out the rest.

 

‘More air!’

 

‘I believe in you!  I’ll give up everything just to find you!  I have to be with you!’

 

‘Knock!  Me!  Down!’

 

‘To live!  To breathe!  You’re taking over me!’

 

‘Posture!  Posture helps!’  I quickly regain my form, unclenching my hands without even realizing I’d made them into fists.

 

‘I look in the mirror and see your face!’

 

‘Louder than me!’

 

‘If I look deep enough, so many things inside that are just like you are taking over!’  
  
Elias joins me now, his voice easily overpowering mine, ‘I believe in you!  I’ll give up everything just to find you!  I have to be with you!  To live!  To breathe!  You’re taking over me!’

 

‘Alright!’ he calls over, ‘Sit down!  Get our breath back!  Form in sitting!  It’s the same as standing, only with your legs crossed!  When you’re ready, start again!’

 

It seems endless, this training, but for some reason, it all makes sense…

 

_‘Were you just talking to Elias Jasper?’ Chelsea questioned as she came to a stop at Lily’s side._

_Lily shrugged, still trying to figure out what had transacted between the two and what exactly it meant._

_‘Muddling over what the hell she’s to do next,’ Jamie butted in, grinning mischievously, ‘Well, girls, I say we ask around, see if we can’t find out some info on this mystery guy.  By the looks of it, Lils, you’ve got the major hots for him.  Good for you.’_

 

It is only through my third time that I finally begin to lose volume.  Up until then, I had been slowly overpowering Elias.  But, as I reach the second verse again with ease, I hear two familiar voices reaching the Pitch.  While still singing, I turn my head to see James and Sirius slowly making their way toward us.  Turning back to Elias, I feel the blood slip away from my face.  He quickly jumps in, singing softer than me, but still giving me a little boost of courage.  We finish the song as the boys stop beside me.

 

‘What are you doing?’ Sirius questions curiously, glancing between Elias and me.

 

‘Singing,’ I reply confidently as Elias starts making his way over to us.

 

‘Hmm.  Why?’

 

‘Because I feel like it.’

 

‘You’re really good,’ James interrupts.

 

‘Thank you.’

 

‘Why were you yelling across to each other, though?  Well, it sounded like singing, but why were you across the Pitch?’

 

‘He’s helping me get over my fear of singing in front of people, and helping me learn how to sing properly at the same time.’

 

‘Interesting.  ‘Lo, Jasper,’ Sirius greets, nodding.

 

‘Black,’ Elias returns, grimacing at the usage of his surname.

 

 ‘Lily, do you want to go in?’ he asks, turning to face me.

 

‘I’d love to.  It’s getting kind of cold.’

 

‘Well, I know a pair of lonely mugs.’

 

‘Do you now?’

 

Elias just smiles and holds out his arm.  I hook mine through his, bid the boys goodbye, and walk off with Elias at my side, feeling lighter than a feather…

 

_Lily sat on the couch that evening, knees drawn to her chest, staring at the fire._

_‘You’re up late,’ James commented as he took the seat next to her._

_She shrugged.  She had a lot on her mind and really didn’t want to bother with James right now._

_‘Anything you wanna talk about?  You’ve been kinda quiet these past few days.’_

_‘I’m fine, James,’ she assured, looking up and giving him a small smile.  She saw a flash of blue eyes and multi-colored hair matched with a brilliant pearly smile and instantly had to look down for fear of James seeing her tomato blush._

_‘Are you sure?’_

_‘Actually, I think I’ll go to bed.  ‘Night, James.’_

_‘G’night, Lily.’_

_Without another word, she quickly hurried out of the common room and up into her room, her legs feeling like jelly the whole time._

Later that evening, about half the students staying at Hogwarts are gathered in the Great Hall, lounging on the floor, the tables having been removed by Dumbledore, and awaiting instructions.

 

‘Now, we must make these trees look tremendously extravagant for those students returning and those already here.  Boxes are scattered around the room,’ Dumbledore pauses to sweep his hand around the room, cardboard boxes overflowing with an assortment of goodies appearing everywhere, ‘so get to work!’

 

He claps his hands together happily, and we all jump up excitedly and scurry off to different boxes, gathering supplies.

 

‘No, you have to put garland on first,’ I reprimand, throwing a piece at Elias.

 

He catches it, laughing, as I begin taking off the few things he’s already hung up on the largest tree.  James, Sirius, Elias, and I have been assigned to it.  Together, Elias and I quickly string up the silver and gold garland with our wands, wrapping it around the gargantuan tree until I suddenly receive a load of it in the face.  I let out a screech and send one back, shielding my face from further attack.  It breaks out into an all-out war until the boys return and call us to attention.  We try to obtain straight faces with garland hanging off of us, but it’s nearly impossible.  I burst into laughter first, Elias following.  James just shakes his head and puts down a box of ornaments of all sorts.

 

Using our wands again, we all hang the ornaments up until Dumbledore calls for a halt and walks around to observe each tree.

 

‘They are all beautiful!’ he finally exclaims as he finishes looking over ours.

 

‘Now, you must be all tired!  I suggest you retire to bed since dinner has already been served and it is almost nine!  Sweet dreams to you all!’

 

‘You know, I absolutely love sparkles,’ I say as we head out of the Great Hall, Elias’ arm around my waist.

 

‘Do you now?’

 

I nod before he continues, ‘Lily, do you realize that we haven’t actually eaten dinner, yet?’

 

‘Have we not?  Hmm.  I think that calls for an event.’

 

‘Formal invitation, however.  Miss Evans, would you care to join me in the Room at precisely nine o’clock?’

 

‘Whatever is the wait for?’

 

We stop at the double doors, Elias releasing my waist from his hold.

 

‘Well, it is a proper occasion, after all.  You can’t wear jeans, heaven forbid.’

 

‘Oh, I see.  As it happens, if you’ll excuse me, kind sir, I must return to my room to change, then.’

 

‘I bid you goodbye until our paths cross again.’

 

Elias lifts my hand to kiss it, smiling slightly, his blue eyes glittering.  We depart without anymore nonsense, I giggling the whole time.

 

Once back in the safety of the common room, I break out in a run toward my room, my beam spreading as I do.  It doesn’t take long before I find the perfect out fit.  The dress has only one strap on the right side while the torso is white, reaching down to my mid-thigh.  An exquisite glittery black design trails across the white diagonally, the color matching the bottom half of the dress, it being black.  The dress is fitting, but comfortable.

 

After dressing, I quickly hurry toward the bathroom, fix my hair into a nicer do with half of it up and half of it down, add a little makeup, and whisk away toward the rack just as the portrait hole is opening.

 

‘Hello, boys,’ I manage as I am pulling my lighter cloak around me.

 

‘What are you all dressed up for?’ Sirius asks as James shoots me a strange glance.

 

‘Oh, nothing.’

 

Before either of them can question me further, I dart past them and out of the portrait, letting it snap shut tightly behind me.  At the marble staircase, I smile as I see Elias just jogging down it.

 

‘Well, hello, my love,’ he greets, pecking me on the cheek as he reaches me.

 

‘Evening, Elias,’ I return, snuggling against him as he puts his arm around my shoulders.

 

We arrive at the Room with a fair amount of time to spare.  Upon entering, however, I am instantly taken aback.  There is a small white single’s table with a crimson dressing, its lovely high-backed white chairs adorned with matching cushions.  Two white candles reside in the middle while matching plates are filled with a first course.  Two crystal glasses are full with wine, the bottle residing in a bucket of ice on the floor.  The surrounding is the same as our practice room, complete with petals, candles, and all.

 

‘My lady,’ Elias offers, holding out the chair for me.

 

‘Thank you, kind gentleman.’

 

Elias merely smiles and takes his seat before we begin our dinner, conversing away…

 

_‘You know,’ a voice suddenly said, interrupting Lily’s reverie as she doodled all over her essay, ‘I don’t believe Muggle murder antics like yours will make much sense to a wizard.  Unless, of course, they’re into torture.’_

_Lily looked up in surprise, immediately wishing she hadn’t.  Elias Jasper took the seat across from her in the library, brushing a fallen blonde lock back into place._

_‘I would assume not,’ Lily returned, smiling slightly and quickly tucking the parchment away, ‘Whatever are you here for?’_

_‘I find your presence unavoidable.  It seems I’ve been hopelessly drawn to you.’_

_‘Oh?’_

_‘So, Miss Evans, what’s your reason for being here?’_

_She knew he didn’t mean why she was in the library, so she answered accordingly, blushing a deeper scarlet everytime he smiled at a different part of her response._

As we finally finished desert, and I am in the process of trying to hide an obnoxious yawn, Elias laughs delicately and stands.

 

‘I think it is time for us to leave,’ he whispers, holding out his hand.

 

A sudden flash of lightening makes me jump, the exhaustion frightened right out of me.

 

‘Elias, look, it’s dark out, we’re out of bed after hours, and now it’s thundering; how are we supposed to get back undetected?’

 

‘Are you implying something?’

 

‘Well, you said this room provides anything that’s desired, and unless I’m reading signs wrong…’ I trail off, waiting for some kind of response.  As one, the floor opens and a large canopy bed rises from the hole.  It looks exactly like the dorm beds, only it is much wider.

 

‘Granted, that’s lovely,’ I start, but stop when Elias holds up a finger.

 

He draws his wand, flicks it at the curtains and grins as they part to reveal a set of pajamas, one for myself, and one for Elias.

 

‘They look-’

 

‘Like guys?’ he finishes, nodding, ‘I _wanted_ to steal a pair of yours, for I had a feeling this might happen, but I couldn’t exactly sneak into your room and just highjack some of your clothes.’

 

I snort at this, remembering the three flowers in my vase.

 

‘Anyhow,’ he continues, grin widening, ‘I just took two pairs of my own.  I hope it’s satisfactory.’

 

‘More than,’ I breathe, lifting from my chair and walking over to the bed.

 

‘One moment, please,’ I say before shutting the curtains and giggling.

 

Elias moves around softly until I hear his guitar suddenly striking a tune and playing a charming little song.  He continues even when I open the curtains again to reveal myself in his black and red plaid pajama bottoms and oversized black Phantom of the Opera t-shirt.

 

‘I had no idea you fancied the opera,’ I comment, padding over to him.

 

‘I adore the opera.  And all forms of art, actually.’

 

‘Wonderful.’

 

He merely smiles, stops his song, and stands to change.

 

‘One moment, please,’ he mocks, bowing his way into the curtains to change out of his tails and into his grey sweats and black Tom & Jerry shirt.

 

‘And you like cartoons?’ I query as he opens the curtains and beckons me forward.

 

‘I like many unbelievable things.’

 

‘I like you,’ I return as I hunker down in the bed, bringing the blankets around me.

 

‘I had no doubt you did.’

 

‘What about you?’

 

Elias slips in next to me, wraps his arms around me, and draws me close to him.  The curtains shut on their own accord as the candles slowly go out, one by one.  Sleep begins to fill my every essence and I yawn widely one more time before slipping off.

 

‘I _love_ you,’ Elias whispers in my ear right before the blackness of dreams takes me…


	4. Hershey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Do you?' Lily giggled as she took his hand and led him away to the head table. 'Well, then,' she continued, causing him to groan in protest. 'Please don't use my own lines against me,' he begged, kissing her fingers one by one.

**  
**

_Tuesday_

I awake the next morning to something warm and sweet-smelling.  I smile as I recognize Elias’ cologne and snuggle deeper against him, our legs enmeshed, and my face against his smooth chest.  I hear him laugh in my ear as he draws me closer, tucking his nose in my hair.

 

‘How did you sleep?’ he questions softly, his breath tickling my exposed skin.

 

‘Lovely,’ I respond, sighing.

 

‘You know what I’ve realized?’

 

‘What’s that?’

 

‘We have to go back to our common rooms and change into clothes for the day.’

 

‘Well, that could be quite a problem.  How are we to avoid being seen?’

 

‘I’m not really sure.’

 

‘You have your cloak, don’t you?’

 

‘Mmm.’

 

‘Okay, well, I have mine too.  We’ll just scurry off with them over us back to our dorms and change.’

 

‘Sounds good.  Hey, were you planning on doing anything in particular today?’ he queries as we slowly get out of bed, stretching as we do.

 

‘I was hoping I could hang out with you.’

 

‘Good.  Would you care to join me in Hogsmeade today?’

 

‘How are you finagling that?’

 

‘I’ve already asked Dumbledore, and he said it was quite fine.’

 

‘So, what are we going into Hogsmeade for?’ I ask as I start to pull my cloak around me.

 

Elias does the same, rolling his shoulders before answering, ‘I want to take you to dinner.  And besides, I heard you need a gown for the New Years’ ball.’

 

‘Where did you hear any such thing?’

 

‘From your darling boyfriend.’

 

‘James is _not_ my boyfriend,’ I retaliate, crossing my arms in a huff.

 

‘Of course he’s not.’

 

Elias merely smirks and hooks his arm around my waist, leading me out of the room.

 

‘About the New Years’ ball,’ I begin, feeling a bit awkward; we’ve kept our silent walk up, but now are at the main marble staircase.

 

‘I have a question for you at breakfast,’ he whispers before leaning down, kissing my cheek, and then whisking off, leaving me slightly breathless and very curious.

 

Once slipping in undetected into the Heads’ common room, I let out a breath I hadn’t known I had been holding.  Thankfully, James and Sirius are not in the common room, so I am able to quickly dart to my room and hide behind my door without being noticed.  I quickly slip into a long red skirt with a black butterfly in the middle side and a trail of black jewels leading to the other side.  Just as I am tugging a red sweater that hangs lower on one shoulder, there’s a soft knock on my door and I neatly jump and fall to my butt, groaning afterward.

 

‘Lily?  Are you okay?’ James asks from behind the wood.

 

‘Yeah, yeah; I’m great,’ I murmur, quickly tugging the sweater over my head and hurrying for the door.

 

‘What?’ I question after I’ve opened the door.

 

‘I was just wondering – erm – what you were doing – er – today?’

 

‘Me?’

 

‘Well, yes, I believe your name is Lily.’

 

‘Oh, right.’

 

‘Well?’ James prompts after a few moments of uncomfortable silence.

 

‘Well,’ I repeat, reaching up and rubbing the nape of my neck.  Why is this so gosh damn hard?

 

James clears his throat, reminding me he is still standing in my doorway.

 

‘I – umm – I’m going to Hogsmeade.’

 

‘Are you?’  The surprise is evident in his voice and rising eyebrows.

 

His face lights up as mine falls.  Why does this feel like the wrong thing?  Why does this feel so awful?  This is James Potter, for Christ’s sake!  This is supposed to be easy to turn him down!

 

‘Yes,’ I reply quickly, leaving a mark as my long nails trail down off my neck and to my side again.

 

‘Are you going alone?’

 

‘No.’

 

‘Oh.’

 

His face falls deeper than mine as I bite my lip.

 

‘I’m going with Elias,’ I finally blurt out, causing James to sigh and nod.

 

‘I figured.  I guess I’ll talk to you later, then.’  James leaves then, looking thoroughly distraught.

 

Rolling my shoulders and shaking my head to clear it, I turn, my door creaking inward with my long fingers wrapped around the handle.  I let out a scream of surprise, slamming the door shut on accident before clamping a swift hand to my mouth.

 

‘Elias!’ I hiss, hurrying to my bed and pushing his chest.  He merely giggles pleasantly and falls back on the comforter.

 

‘You nearly gave me a heart attack!  How did you get in here?’ I screech, throwing the nearest thing at him: a pillow; real effective.

 

He just laughs harder, clutching his stomach as he rolls onto his side and pulls his knees up.

 

‘It’s not funny!’ I continue, throwing another pillow hard at him.

 

The volume increases and I sigh before throwing him a nasty glare and stalking off toward my desk.  Even if I’m frustrated with him, I can’t help but smile.  His laughter is positively breathtaking.  How everything is so perfect about him, I can’t tell.  But it is.  He’s incredible.  And then I see the four connected blue harebells sitting nicely in the vase beside the lily, rose, and daisy.

 

‘Seriously,’ I begin as I turn to face him and he sits up, wiping his eyes, ‘how did you get in here?’

 

‘What are you talking about?  I’ve been here all along,’ he says, smirking deviously.

 

‘Elias,’ I warn, crossing my arms.

 

‘You’re not mad at me, are you?’

 

I sigh, my charade falling as his eyes widen and his lower lip sticks out.

 

‘Of course not,’ I return, rolling my eyes and walking over to him.

 

He holds out his arms, but I just shake my head and start to fix my pillows.

 

‘I can do that,’ he says, placing a hand over mine.

 

The electric current that courses through me is fascinating.  His skin is so smooth and icy.  Our eyes meet for a brief second before Elias removes his hand and picks up the pillow.  I sigh before walking back over to my desk and sitting at it.  I quickly apply a little black eyeliner, white sparkly eye shadow, and black mascara.

 

‘Can I give you something?’ Elias suddenly questions from my bed as I’m fishing around in my jewelry box for some earrings.

 

‘Depends,’ I answer quickly, hoping it’s not something materialistic.

 

‘On what?’

 

‘On what it is and how much it costs.’

 

‘You’re so ridiculous, Lily.’

 

Suddenly, I feel Elias’ hand on my neck and I close my eyes against the touch, enjoying the warmth of physical contact.

 

‘There,’ he says, stepping away.

 

I open my eyes and gasp.  On a plain silver chain hangs a beautiful silver heart with diamonds encrusted in a diagonal across it.  I lean forward, gazing into my mirror at it.

 

‘Elias, it’s beautiful.’

 

‘And it didn’t cost a cent,’ he whispers, bending down to kiss the side of my neck before walking briskly off to my closet.

 

‘You’ll need a change of clothes for later tonight,’ he mumbles from inside, causing me to turn.

 

‘What d’you mean “it didn’t cost a cent”?’

 

‘Something light; we’ll be going dancing.’

 

‘Elias.’

 

He turns at his name, flinching slightly at the anger in my tone.

 

‘I made it,’ he whispers, not breaking gaze.

 

‘You made it?’ I return, in utter disbelief.

 

‘I’m kind of crafty.’

 

‘Yeah; I’ve noticed.  Thank you.’

 

‘Anything for you.  Now… what would you wear to a club scene?’

 

I gape at Elias’ large grin, laughing at the fact that he actually thinks he’s going to get me on the dance floor.  Then again, he did get me to sing out loud…

 

\--

 

An hour later, Elias stands with his arms crossed and leaning against the door to the dressing room in the shop we are currently in.  He’s already bought his shirt and tails, so I’m left to trying on dresses myself.

 

‘Would you trust me in a car?’ he suddenly questions, breaking the comfortable silence that has fallen over us for quite a few minutes.

 

‘Were you raised by Muggles?’

 

‘No.’

 

‘Maybe.’

 

‘My parents had all Muggle relatives, though, and believed in their ways.  Henceforth, they taught me how to drive.’

 

‘Do you have your license?’

 

‘Mhmm.’

 

‘So, what are you getting at?’

 

‘Would you let me drive you somewhere tonight?’

 

‘What?  After dinner?’

 

‘Yep.’

 

‘Maybe.’

 

‘Depends?’ he guesses, the hint of a smile in his voice.

 

‘Depends,’ I repeat, laughing softly.

 

‘Alright, close your eyes,’ I say after a few more moments, and after changing back into my skirt and sweater.

 

Thankfully, Elias obliges so when I open the door, his beautiful blue eyes are shut.

 

‘No peeking,’ I whisper, pecking him on the cheek before heading toward the register.

 

I swear I hear him sigh, but pay it no mind.  I’ve started to convince myself that there is no possible way he’s interested in me.  I know my friends would tell me otherwise, but it’s too impracticable.  He’s too amazing, and I’m too bland.  Not to mention he’s seemed to tense away little by little from things like small kisses here and there, or holding hands or other places like waists and shoulders.

 

Typically, I’m proven wrong.

 

After my dress is tucked safely away in its bag, I retrieve Elias and walk out holding hands with him.  There is a slight flurry of snow falling from the open sky, so I instinctively move in closer to him as we step outside.

 

‘Hey, Lily,’ he begins, turning away from me and reaching for my other hand.

 

‘Mmm?’ I respond, looking up at him.

 

‘Do you like me?’

 

‘Pardon?’

 

‘Do you like me?’ he repeats.

 

‘I believe we’ve already gone over this,’ I say, casting my eyes downward as a blush spreads across my nose and cheeks.

 

Without a word, Elias sighs, curls his finger under my chin, and lifts my emerald eyes to meet his sapphire ones.  There is one fleeting second of a search of confirmation by the tiniest flicker of his eyes before he bends his head down and hesitantly ghosts his lips over mine.  I eagerly stand up on my tiptoes, moving into the kiss.  He takes that as his last confirmation and kisses harder, his grip on my hands tightening.  It lasts barely seconds, but they are the greatest I’ve ever experienced.  When he pulls away, we both sigh almost simultaneously, laughing afterward.

 

‘Is it too early to say “I love you”?’ he murmurs as he rests his forehead against mine and breathes out shallowly.

 

‘Not if that’s what you feel.’

 

‘Okay.’

 

‘Well, then.’

 

‘Don’t always expect a response from everything I propose, Lily,’ he comments before leaning away from me and tugging on my hand, ‘Ready to go to dinner?’

 

‘That sounds lovely.’

 

Elias merely smiles before drawing me close to him and heading off down the street.  We walk in silence, our footing in sync.  He holds open the door to the Three Broomsticks, causing me to smile.  I had this gut feeling he was a burger and fries kind of guy.  We slip into an unoccupied booth, Elias casting me a smile before turning to a bustling Madame Rosemerta.

 

‘Lily, darling, smashing to see you,’ she says, nodding in my direction before turning to Elias, ‘So, this is what you do on your nights off?’

 

‘What else would there be to do?  I’ll have a vegan burger and fries, along with a butterbeer.’

 

‘Obviously.  And, Miss Evans?’

 

‘Regular burger and fries; a butterbeer, too, please.’

 

‘Coming right up.’

 

Rosemerta quickly buzzes away again, leaving me to confront Elias, ‘You work here?’

 

‘On weekends mostly, but sometimes on Fridays,’ he responds, shifting in his seat a little before starting to remove his cloak.

 

‘For how long?’ I persist, now interested.

 

‘Not so long.’

 

‘Fine; don’t tell me.’

 

‘I honestly can’t remember,’ he chuckles, shaking his head.

 

I just sigh and remove my cloak likewise, causing him to laugh again.

 

‘You amaze me sometimes.’

 

‘Hm, and you think you’re taking me dancing tonight.  _You_ amaze _me_ ,’ I scoff.

 

‘Who ever said anything about dancing?’ he ridicules, his grin widening.

 

‘Oh, don’t even start with me.  You know you did.’

 

‘I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Miss Evans.’

 

‘You and your mysteries!’ I exclaim, throwing my arms up in defeat.

 

‘Mysteries?’ he queries, putting forth a convincingly fascinated façade.

 

‘Not torturing your date, are you, Elias?’ Rosemerta asks as she places our food and drinks before us.

 

‘Not really.  Just a bit of teasing,’ he replies, smiling lightly.

 

‘Mysteries,’ I grumble, causing Rosemerta to giggle.

 

‘You’re a jerk,’ she mutters, smacking Elias upside the head following.

 

‘Love you, too, dollface.’

 

She just walks away shaking her head, leaving me to be entertained by the graces of Elias Jasper.

 

‘Lily, I have three questions for you,’ he says after a while of intimately simple conversation.

 

‘Three?’

 

‘Three.’

 

‘Ask away, then.’

 

‘First off, by all respects, will you be my girlfriend?’

 

‘I would love nothing more than that.’

 

‘Thank you.  Secondly, will you go to the New Years’ ball with me?’

 

‘Escorted by yours truly?  That sounds darling.’

 

‘Lovely.  Finally, will you go dancing with me tonight?’

 

‘Not a chance.’

 

‘Please don’t be stubborn.’

 

‘I don’t dance.’

 

‘And apparently you don’t sing.’

 

I sigh, frustrated, and knowing he was going to use that against me.

 

‘I don’t dance,’ I repeat, glaring at him.

 

‘Lily,’ he starts, but I swiftly cut him off.

 

‘Elias, no.  It is one thing for me to sing in front of you and you only.  It is an entirely different thing for me to sing in front of hundreds of people.’

 

‘Yes, but we’re talking about-’

 

‘It’s the same thing with dancing!’ I quickly interrupt, feeling my temper rising, ‘I do not want to dance in front of hundreds of people.’

 

‘I’m sorry,’ Elias quietly whispers, looking utterly defeated.

 

‘No, I’m sorry.  That was very rude of me.’

 

‘I shouldn’t have persisted as so.’

 

‘You’re only trying to help,’ I beg, hating to see him so upset.

 

‘No.  Don’t make excuses for me.’

 

‘I’m sorry.’

 

Elias laughs now, causing me to grin.  He’s so easy to be around.

 

‘I’ll go dancing with you,’ I finally oblige, and he just laughs harder.

 

\--

 

As I cautiously climb into the passenger seat of the blue 1953 Porsche 356 Roadster Elias somehow managed to get sitting right outside Hogsmeade, he revs up the engine and I jump nearly a foot in the air.

 

‘Where did you get this, anyway?’ I ask as we start driving away.

 

‘Oh, you know, just lying around.’

 

‘You didn’t steal it, did you?’ I ask, mortified.

 

‘No!  Absolutely not,’ he scoffs, casting me a glance, ‘I’ve had it for some time.  It’s my father’s car.’

 

‘And you got it here how?’

 

‘Magic.’

 

‘Fine.’

 

The short ride to wherever he’s taking me is relatively silent, but when we pull up in front of the place, I begin to feel increasingly nervous.  Loud music is blasting out from inside the Muggle club.  Elias lets himself out before moving to my side to open my door.  He tosses the keys to an employee who nods in his direction before scooting into the car to pull it into the garage parking.

 

‘Elias, I’m not so sure about this,’ I whisper as he hooks his arm through mine and leads me up the carpeted stairs.

 

‘It’ll be fine,’ he assures, smiling down at me.

 

We come upon the double doors leading into the club, and I suddenly realize why exactly I needed a change of clothes.

 

‘I’ll meet you in there,’ I murmur, stepping away from him and starting toward the ladies’ room.

 

‘Don’t take too long,’ he says before disappearing behind the doors.

 

Taking a deep breath, I enter the empty bathroom, purse held in a shaking, vice-like grip.  Filling my lungs once more, I slowly open the purse, trying to calm my nerves at the same time.  I can only imagine what torture he’s going to put me through tonight.  First the singing, and now this.  He _must_ be trying to kill me.

 

Thanking my ability to use magic, I pull my change of clothes out of my tiny purse, enter a stall, and quickly undress and dress.  My turquoise skirt is knee-length and three-layered.  It is silk and splashed with different shades of blue, green, and white, but only hinted so.  The matching top is a low v-neck with spaghetti straps and a lighter blue ribbon is tied beneath my breasts.  My boots are mid-shin length and very much stiletto.

 

Sighing heavily, I toss my other clothes in my little purse before snapping it shut and walking briskly out of the bathroom.  Almost instantly upon opening the doors, Elias finds me and draws me to him, pressing his cool lips against mine.  I return the kiss after my momentary shock ends, taking careful notice of his hands on my waist, his thumbs pressed lightly against my hips.

 

‘You look beautiful,’ he whispers once we part, he letting his eyes wander over my new appearance.

 

‘Absolutely ravishing,’ he continues before kissing me again.

 

It is quick but meaningful, and I’m still left forgetting how to breathe.

 

‘Let me take this,’ he offers, slipping my purse out of my numb fingers.

 

He tucks it away in his jacket pocket before slipping out of the sleeves and leaving me for a second to put it away safely.  He returns looking quite spiffy, letting me know he too changed.  He is in faded, ripped jeans, a multi-chain attached to his belt loops and a black belt within them.  His shirt is a grey Guns ‘N Roses one with two guns pointing at one another and roses entwining them.

 

‘Ready?’ he whispers, knitting his fingers with mine.

 

‘Not really, but do you ever let me be?’

 

‘Never,’ he returns, leaning in to kiss me once more before tugging me along after him onto the dance floor.

 

‘Alright, this one is for all you lovers out there!’ the DJ calls out through his microphone, causing Elias to grin.

 

‘What are you up to?’ I call over the screaming voices.

 

‘Nothing,’ he returns, pulling me to him as a soft acoustic beginning belts out from the loud speakers.

 

‘I know you know how to dance,’ he whispers in my ear as he starts moving.

 

Instinctively, ignoring my shouting mind, I move back.  It’s not long before I am left smiling, Elias twirling me around and dancing with me in ways I have forgotten.  It’s like the singing all over again; I can’t help but burst into laughter and just let loose.

 

As the solo ends in the song, a softer part breaks out and, because of the many repeats, I already know the words.  Along with Elias and me, every other person sings out the words, dancing like crazy.

 

‘I think we’ve got ourselves some talent!’ the DJ yells over the music.

 

A spotlight shines, Elias grins, and I know my time for being conservative is up.  My heart doesn’t even skip a beat this time.  I just keep going, my skirt twirling with me, my spirit soaring with every dip and move.  All of a sudden, it’s like one of those perfect movies where the crowd parts into a circle, the perfect couple gracefully skipping across the dance floor.  Out of the blue, that’s Elias and me.  We are the ones causing the roaring crowd to grow in volume, the ones causing the music to spontaneously lift in sound, and the ones causing a whole lot of people to abruptly start watching.

 

‘There are five music company executives here tonight,’ Elias whispers in my ear as he brings me close and then spins me away.

 

‘Five?’ I gasp, reaching him just as the song ends.

 

The music cuts, the crowd screams, and I feel like passing out.  Now I know what he’s planning.

 

‘The DJ is all set for whenever you’re ready.’

 

‘Elias, I can’t.’

 

Another song starts as Elias starts pulling me toward the stairs leading to the high stage.

 

‘I know you can.  Lily, this is your shot.  You have to be known.’

 

‘No, Elias, I can’t!’

 

He keeps pulling, though, just as I feel my secrecy and my fear slipping away.

 

‘You don’t have to, but I think you would benefit,’ he says as we reach the stage.

 

I can feel the eyes on me, the heat of the bodies emanating toward me, and the enormous pressure weighing down on my shoulders.

 

‘Will you sing with me?’


End file.
